I know I haven't blogged in a long time and I should be but things just get away from me. I plan on uploading some pictures latter this week so hopefully I can use those as a catch up blog.
This post isn't about the fam - it's about me and my frustrations. I am currently breastfeeding Alexavier. Most of you know that I tried my hardest to nurse Jeramyah but it just didn't work. There were too many negatives against us and I just wasn't as educated as I thought I was about nursing.
I don't know if it's because I do more with A or if it’s because I'm nursing but I LOVE my slings. They are so nice because I can toss A in it and nurse without anyone really knowing. There have been just a few times that someone has noticed I was nursing.
The other day was one of those days, and also the cause of this blog. We were at the zoo and this lady noticed I was nursing she told me how happy she was that I was doing that, not enough women do it now days, etc, etc. This is usually the theme of comments I get when a woman sees me nursing. I am all for the camaraderie of supporting a nursing mom but why do people have to be hateful toward the other demographic?
One day at the hospital a lady told me she was glad I loved my child enough to nurse. WHAT???? Does that mean I love Alexavier more than I love Jeramayh?? Am I a better mom to A because I am nursing him and didn’t J?
It burns my hide to think that anyone in the world really thinks a woman doesn’t love her child because she won’t, can’t or doesn’t nurse. Yes I personally believe that every woman should try – and that you should give it an honest go and do so for an extended period of time (it was 6-8 weeks before I felt like I knew what the hell I was doing). However I’d much rather see a woman stick a bottle of formula in her child’s mouth then nurse and grow to resent nursing, herself, or worst of all her child. Another thing I wonder about is all the women who can’t nurse but pump breast milk then bottle feed their baby, do these women just automatically assume they don’t love their kids???
To be honest, I am not a fan of nursing. It is painful, it keeps me ridiculously tied down, and it takes away from anyone else having that extra 15 minutes of bonding. I am going to keep doing it for as long as possible but if I don’t make it to my initial one year goal it will not be the end of the world. Formula is not poison, it will not make my child fat, stupid, or lazy. It also doesn’t mean I don’t love him.
Now, on the other hand, I am starting back to work this week and my boss is making a huge deal about me nursing. Although I understand some of her reasons for concern (will parents think I can’t take care of their children if I’m nursing mine) it also infuriates me that this is a problem. I personally think it’d be worse if I was bottle feeding – I would have only one free hand where with nursing I’d have 2. It makes me mad because the women who do choose to breast feed aren’t encouraged to do so. Work makes it difficult, a lot of people act like breastfeeding is a dirty thing, you have to not only cover yourself but you have to cover your child as well.
Why can’t people just mind their own business? If you are supportive of nursing then say “good for you!” and leave it at that. If you aren’t a fan of nursing then look the other way but leave the poor woman alone! Maybe I feel so strongly about this because I’ve walked both sides of the line, maybe I just like to bitch, I have no clue.
I’d be interested in hearing other’s thoughts though. If you nursed did you feel like you had to be covered up to your neck? Did you get comments about nursing (good or bad)? Were they over the top? What about if you bottle fed (breast milk or formula) did you get comments? Did you feel like you were cheating your child?
Monday, September 28, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
J's first day of preschool - through his eyes
J goes to preschool 2 days a week. On Tuesdays they learn science and on Thursdays they learn music. This is how J told me his day went.
"I painted a son. It's yellow. That's my son right there. My teacher put my name on it. It says JERaMYAH" "I made a telescope too. I coloured it blue. I looked at the clamits." I sort of ignored the clamits part until he said it another time in the van on the way home. I asked him "You saw clams in your telescope?" "NO clamits"
We get home and I pull his stuff from his backpack and he shows me his telescope. Looking through it he says "See the clamits. They are above the clouds when it's dark." I'm still not sure what the heck he's talking about until I pull at a picture he coloured of earth. "There's my clamit! It's a small one, they get big. My teacher lives there." Ah, yes son clamits.
I am so so glad I put him in preschool. He had so much fun, the teachers said he did fantastic. No tears, not one, even when the other kids cried. He didn't take a nap but he did have quiet time. He loved his teachers and had fun. Plus he already learned a lot about planets. What more could I ask for?!? I already can't wait for him to go on Thursday just to hear what he learned about.
The only bad thing was I bought him a sandwich box for his lunchbox and he didn't come home with it =( I have his name on it so if someone got it by mistake maybe they'll bring it back. J said his teacher threw it away though. Oh well.
They also said that he was a bit shy, he wouldn't reach to the middle of the table to dip his paintbrush to paint the sun but she said that as soon as she helped him the first couple of times he was good.
A little on the shy side I will take over tears any day!
"I painted a son. It's yellow. That's my son right there. My teacher put my name on it. It says JERaMYAH" "I made a telescope too. I coloured it blue. I looked at the clamits." I sort of ignored the clamits part until he said it another time in the van on the way home. I asked him "You saw clams in your telescope?" "NO clamits"
We get home and I pull his stuff from his backpack and he shows me his telescope. Looking through it he says "See the clamits. They are above the clouds when it's dark." I'm still not sure what the heck he's talking about until I pull at a picture he coloured of earth. "There's my clamit! It's a small one, they get big. My teacher lives there." Ah, yes son clamits.
I am so so glad I put him in preschool. He had so much fun, the teachers said he did fantastic. No tears, not one, even when the other kids cried. He didn't take a nap but he did have quiet time. He loved his teachers and had fun. Plus he already learned a lot about planets. What more could I ask for?!? I already can't wait for him to go on Thursday just to hear what he learned about.
The only bad thing was I bought him a sandwich box for his lunchbox and he didn't come home with it =( I have his name on it so if someone got it by mistake maybe they'll bring it back. J said his teacher threw it away though. Oh well.
They also said that he was a bit shy, he wouldn't reach to the middle of the table to dip his paintbrush to paint the sun but she said that as soon as she helped him the first couple of times he was good.
A little on the shy side I will take over tears any day!
Jeramyah's first day of preschool
Today I wake J up and tell him it's time for us to get dressed for school. He turns over and says "My schools ready?!?!?!" I tell him yes as he's jumping out of bed running into the living room shouting "My school's ready!" I tell him to come back and give me some lovins. He can barely hug or kiss me because he's talking about taking his lunch box, backpack, and napmat to school. I tell him to come help me make his lunch and he's talking about playing on the playground with his friends, building blocks, getting in the boat. Everything he's seen the two times we've been there.
He is impatently waiting at my feet for us to finish getting ready and go. I will add to this once we get back home.
So we pull into the parking lot and J is of course full of excitement. I open the doors to the van (automatically) and while I'm getting A out on my side J is looking out his side at a little boy in a van throwing a FIT saying he doesn't want to go. I start to get worried that J will pick up on this and do the same so we start talking about how fun it's going to be. We get in and find his basket to put all his stuff inside then go to his classroom. There are puzzles everywhere and the teacher tells him to go play with one he just walks away from me. I tell him to come hug and kiss me and then he goes back to his puzzle. I tell him bye and love you and kind of hang out thinking that's when he's going to get upset. He just said "LOVE YOU" and went right on playing.
I'm glad he had such an easy time but a tiny part of me is sad because I realise he doesn't need me like he once did. Bitter sweet. I still have butterflies in my belly. I already can't wait to go pick him up! I will post pictures later.
He is impatently waiting at my feet for us to finish getting ready and go. I will add to this once we get back home.
So we pull into the parking lot and J is of course full of excitement. I open the doors to the van (automatically) and while I'm getting A out on my side J is looking out his side at a little boy in a van throwing a FIT saying he doesn't want to go. I start to get worried that J will pick up on this and do the same so we start talking about how fun it's going to be. We get in and find his basket to put all his stuff inside then go to his classroom. There are puzzles everywhere and the teacher tells him to go play with one he just walks away from me. I tell him to come hug and kiss me and then he goes back to his puzzle. I tell him bye and love you and kind of hang out thinking that's when he's going to get upset. He just said "LOVE YOU" and went right on playing.
I'm glad he had such an easy time but a tiny part of me is sad because I realise he doesn't need me like he once did. Bitter sweet. I still have butterflies in my belly. I already can't wait to go pick him up! I will post pictures later.
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