Frustration

I know I haven't blogged in a long time and I should be but things just get away from me. I plan on uploading some pictures latter this week so hopefully I can use those as a catch up blog.

This post isn't about the fam - it's about me and my frustrations. I am currently breastfeeding Alexavier. Most of you know that I tried my hardest to nurse Jeramyah but it just didn't work. There were too many negatives against us and I just wasn't as educated as I thought I was about nursing.

I don't know if it's because I do more with A or if it’s because I'm nursing but I LOVE my slings. They are so nice because I can toss A in it and nurse without anyone really knowing. There have been just a few times that someone has noticed I was nursing.

The other day was one of those days, and also the cause of this blog. We were at the zoo and this lady noticed I was nursing she told me how happy she was that I was doing that, not enough women do it now days, etc, etc. This is usually the theme of comments I get when a woman sees me nursing. I am all for the camaraderie of supporting a nursing mom but why do people have to be hateful toward the other demographic?
One day at the hospital a lady told me she was glad I loved my child enough to nurse. WHAT???? Does that mean I love Alexavier more than I love Jeramayh?? Am I a better mom to A because I am nursing him and didn’t J?
It burns my hide to think that anyone in the world really thinks a woman doesn’t love her child because she won’t, can’t or doesn’t nurse. Yes I personally believe that every woman should try – and that you should give it an honest go and do so for an extended period of time (it was 6-8 weeks before I felt like I knew what the hell I was doing). However I’d much rather see a woman stick a bottle of formula in her child’s mouth then nurse and grow to resent nursing, herself, or worst of all her child. Another thing I wonder about is all the women who can’t nurse but pump breast milk then bottle feed their baby, do these women just automatically assume they don’t love their kids???
To be honest, I am not a fan of nursing. It is painful, it keeps me ridiculously tied down, and it takes away from anyone else having that extra 15 minutes of bonding. I am going to keep doing it for as long as possible but if I don’t make it to my initial one year goal it will not be the end of the world. Formula is not poison, it will not make my child fat, stupid, or lazy. It also doesn’t mean I don’t love him.

Now, on the other hand, I am starting back to work this week and my boss is making a huge deal about me nursing. Although I understand some of her reasons for concern (will parents think I can’t take care of their children if I’m nursing mine) it also infuriates me that this is a problem. I personally think it’d be worse if I was bottle feeding – I would have only one free hand where with nursing I’d have 2. It makes me mad because the women who do choose to breast feed aren’t encouraged to do so. Work makes it difficult, a lot of people act like breastfeeding is a dirty thing, you have to not only cover yourself but you have to cover your child as well.
Why can’t people just mind their own business? If you are supportive of nursing then say “good for you!” and leave it at that. If you aren’t a fan of nursing then look the other way but leave the poor woman alone! Maybe I feel so strongly about this because I’ve walked both sides of the line, maybe I just like to bitch, I have no clue.

I’d be interested in hearing other’s thoughts though. If you nursed did you feel like you had to be covered up to your neck? Did you get comments about nursing (good or bad)? Were they over the top? What about if you bottle fed (breast milk or formula) did you get comments? Did you feel like you were cheating your child?